“You are not special” or, the less radical “everyone is special”

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I’ve been working on improving myself for a year and a half now (you know all about the be 1% better everyday), and recently I came across a phrase that got me thinking a lot. “You are not special” or, the less radical “everyone is special”.

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At first, I was like, “yeah of course I’m not special” – I mean obviously everyone is unique in their own way, but  three days later I realized that I was actually shocked and really moved by this sentence.

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I don’t know how you feel about it, but  I was quite angry at the time. I realized that all this time I was kind of subconsciously thinking that I was special, and that I had to show everyone how special I am – and why they should be looking at me or listening to me or appreciating me. I was mad because I felt someone had lied to me.

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To stop feeling like a victim, I decided to read a little bit more. What I learned was that the idea behind “you are not special” is to understand that when we try to be special, we start separating from one another, and start to see the world in social levels, or in colors, or in sexual preferences, etc.

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This makes us want to compete against each other, and show that we are better – and the result is the current world we have; a world where everyone is always trying to show everyone else how valuable we are, but also stepping over anyone who wants to be better than us.

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When you realize that everyone is special, and you actually believe it with your heart, is when you understand that there is no need to prove anything, and more importantly that you are not more than anyone, allowing you to level up and create change.

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When I was reading this, I was thinking how this could relate to Fuckup Nights, and our community – and I think it’s because when we choose to talk about failure we started to level up. Being a loser, or making mistakes is seen badly, because we all believe we need to be special – and in order to be special,  we have to be perfect all the time. There is no room for mistakes.

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I invite you to think more about these “be special and be unique” concepts that are constantly haunting and beckoning us to separate from each other. Not because you aren’t bright, or you’re not good enough to do x or y. But because even if you’re amazing at public speaking, or design, or coding, you are going to meet people who are better than you, and that’s ok – because we’re here to learn from each other, and to share our abilities to create amazing things and find balance.

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Don’t forget: “You are not special” or, as I like to say it, “we are all special”.